I am excited now in my life because a long-time desire to leave my day job and work full-time on my business is fully manifesting. I got a sample of …Desires Do Come True when You Line Up with Them
I heard a talk years ago from a man who researched end of life regrets. He visited with seniors in nursing homes and hospice care. The number one …Do Not Talk Yourself Out of Your Dreams
Anyone who has read my articles knows I am about transforming life, manifesting, and dreams realized. I write about these things because I have witnessed firsthand that we can be, do, and have our desires. I also understand that words do not teach, experience teaches. Words do guide, inspire, and help lead to inspirations so others can experience the wonders we want in life.
What is your dream? I am not talking about becoming super wealthy by following another’s system because it worked for them. I am talking about that inkling you have had forever. The one that is so deep but has always been there. The one thing that is uniquely your own.
Those types of dreams are also the ones that can seem the scariest. They feel too big for an ordinary life. You may think, “Who would ever listen to me?” or “I am not special enough.” Or I am not (fill in the blank) enough.”
Don’t you think that those people we admire on the world’s stage, thought the same along their way? Most people start from simple beginnings. My question is, “if not you, then who?”
If not you, then who?
We are all given unique desires and dreams, just as we are all given unique talents and abilities. We need to stop holding ourselves back and talking ourselves out of it, by doing that, we are cheating ourselves, our families, and humanity.
Choosing to follow a huge dream can be scary. Courage is facing what scares us. YOU CAN BE COURAGEOUS!
Following a big dream seems so hard. I thought so also. We live in an amazing and generous universe. Many amazing things have manifested in my life. Really, everything I have wanted. Those things I want now are becoming. The key is getting myself out of the way.
When I strive and work at things, they never seem to work out as I try to figure out the “HOW,” I tend to fall flat. Over and over again. Who Can Relate? It is not until I step aside from the how and focus on the why.
The why makes things happen, not the how. I leave how for God. The more “I let go and let God,” the clearer things become, and the more the path unfolds.
Here are a few simple steps.
- Stop making things so hard by obsessing.
- Appreciate where you are. Find joy and satisfaction right now and right where you are.
- You must believe it before you can see it. This is faith defined as well as a staple for manifesting.
- Be ready to be amazed.
- Get out of the way.
My life is going through a new transition. I saw it begin a year ago. I knew June 2020 would be an amazing new beginning. I had no idea what it would be, just the beginning of following the big scary dream that I have held close to my heart for years. The one I felt I was not worthy of holding. I even tried to start a couple of ideas on my own. I Spent thousands and failed spectacularly. What I tried to create on my own was too small, too shallow, and an imitation of other’s dreams.
I decided to step back and have faith in the larger dream. I am learning to let God have the reigns. What is happening leaves me pinching myself to be sure I am not dreaming that I am awake.
I am getting the opportunity to be mentored by a man who is admired by millions. He has changed lives around the world. I am not even sure how he became interested in me, how we exactly crossed paths. All I know is I have a dream, and I put it out there to the universe that I am ready to be courageous and live a larger life. I am trusting God or the universe to work out the details.
Dreams can come true much bigger that we can do for ourselves. Following our dream takes faith, following inspiration, and getting out of our way. Remember, it is not about how – That leads to struggle. Following dreams is about why.
How do you get there? I have those days where I start to worry. How can I afford it? How can I say the right thing? What can I do? Crickets chirping. I hear nothing, have no inspired thoughts.
Then I let go. The days of my most liberating meditations and prayers, the days I know I do not need to worry about how it will happen. Those are the days when the most exciting developments happen. The details are worked out for me in the background. The how is beyond my comprehension, so I stop worrying about it.
Those are the most amazing and productive days.
Remember, dreams can come true. Follow Your Heart!
I heard a talk years ago from a man who researched end of life regrets. He visited with seniors in nursing homes and hospice care. The number one regret expressed was not what they could have done for others; it was what they did not do for themselves. They spent their lifetimes sacrificing their dreams to take care of family, community, church, and as they filled their life with serving others, they set aside their dreams. If they had followed their dreams, they would have been an even greater service, or had a larger impact, to those they crossed paths.
Les Brown speaks of imagining you are in your death bed. What surrounds you is all your dreams. They point to you and tell you, “When you die, we die with you.”
So, what are your dreams? What have you pushed aside that you will later regret not doing? What great vision will die with you that should not? What may be the one thing you can leave as your legacy?
Many times, a dream is an inner desire that does not ever get expressed. Those around you do not even know you have this inner driving passion. Instead, we set it aside to take care of and help others. All the while, our dream can be the one thing that can change a life, influence many, or shine a light that will never get turned on. People often say they do not know what their passion is. I do not believe that. They are comparing themselves to others and the success they see others have. You do not have to have a dream someone else has already fulfilled. Your dream is uniquely your own. It is there you have just buried it. When you connect to who you are, your God force energy and divine spirit, it is there. It may just be a planted seed that you need to water so it can begin to grow into fruition.
We talk ourselves out of our dreams by focusing on our limitations, our handicaps, our lack of education, our race, culture, or financial inability. Those are just excuses, so we do not have to commit to ourselves because we are scared to try something new and different.
We run through our minds all that people will say to us. You are not smart enough; you are not some big named celebrity, who will want to listen to you? You do not have the education those others have. It is easy to find someone who will support our doubts. You need to see the vision of what God sees. You have this inner pull to be more, so you must begin seeing the future as that reality.
As you begin, or if you have been working at the dream for a while, resistance will show up. People will always be there to tell you why you cannot do something. People will openly share why you cannot succeed. They are coming from their fears, places of limitation, and the blocks they have erected in their life. The opposition is not a truth for you unless you allow it to be. Many people are pessimistic when what you need most is optimism and encouragement. Unfortunately, most discouraging people are those closest to you. They do not want to see you hurt and disappointed.
You have got to be hungry for that burning desire in your gut. You must fortify yourself and believe you can have your dream. It would help if you remembered the death bed of regret. The excuses you use to talk yourself out of something can be flipped on their head and used to build something amazing. The excuses you use to talk yourself out of something are often the very reasons why you should be working towards it.
Following a dream is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes the road is lonely. Sometimes you must make sacrifices to achieve the beginning. You must keep a clear vision of who you are becoming and learn to no longer focus on who you were.
I wanted a better life. I was broke, almost homeless, beaten down by an abusive relationship. I knew my life should mean so much more; I did not know how to get there. So, I left everything behind and ran to where I could begin building the life I knew I deserved. Literally, I left everything behind. I left Tennessee with my clothes and a laptop computer and moved to Houston, where I could find opportunities and begin building what my vision is. The new era was an extremely hard time for me, but it was the sacrifice I had to make. The most amazing results came of it. By doing what was right, following my dream, I taught my kids by example, to step out and follow theirs as well. My oldest daughter graduated college as Magnum cum Laude, my son stepped out of special education, and he received the A/B honor roll. He is now entering AP high school classes next year. I am now working toward writing a book and being a motivational speaking worldwide to help encourage people to grow into their dreams and be the best version of themselves.
Your one small act can encourage many to be so much more; to do great things themselves. That is how you leave a legacy. Do not talk yourself out of your dreams. Begin building them today. Create a vision board, start writing a script for your new future. Talk as if it is already happening. Start small. When you see one success, then get a little bigger. Build the life you can be proud of what you accomplish. When it is your time to pass, your spirit is at ease, knowing you lived the full life you should be living.
We planted crape myrtle trees in our yard recently. They were just little three gallon trees. I am so excited about how fast they are growing. We did not really expect to see any thing from them the first year. When I went out on my back patio this morning to enjoy my coffee I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by new blooms of bright red.
What that brought to mind is that every day presents us with a chance to start new. Each day is a new beginning. What are you going to do with that gift? Every morning when we wake up we have a chance to remake ourselves into a new and better version.
Our natural inclination is to pick up where we left off yesterday. We wake up worrying over finances, an argument with our partner or kids, or a troubling project at work. The problem with doing that is you are not going to create a new day and a new you. You will just recreate the same as the day before. Is that what you want repeating in your life?
I love that if I have a bad day, when I go to bed at night I can leave it behind. When I wake up I am sure to start on a positive note. I wake up refreshed and grateful for everything I have. I do not even let myself think on what was wrong yesterday. Thank God, that is in the past.
I come at each day with solutions and not problems. If we focus on the problem then we are going to be holding onto those bad feelings for so much longer. If they get rooted deep enough, it can be challenging to dig them out.
In my writing of “Joy Quest” I have really put a huge focus on living a life of how to find joy and satisfaction no matter what is going on around me. I know it may sound like living with my head in the clouds (or the sand) but it really is not. I am aware of what is happening in my family, my work, and the world. I just know am at a place where I consciously choose how I am going to react to events.
I choose my reactions and how I want to feel, I do not let others or the world impose a knee-jerk reactions.
This offers a greater day (life) of greater ease and clarity.
So, if yesterday was just okay, or it was really bad, what will you do today to remake yourself so you can glide through the day feeling better. What can put a smile on your face even if things are not perfect.
Remember, Life is meant to be fun, everything is temporary and we can choose how we feel.
Enjoy your brand new day and the brand new you.
Love and Blessings,
Ashley J Spurgeon
I had a great coaching call today, so I thought I would share a little. The situation is all too common right now. I spoke with a woman of 50 who lost her job recently. She graduated from high school and never sought higher education because she had a job and was married, focusing on raising her children. Her main function at her job was data entry. She is very worried about the lack of variety that many younger people bring to an employer on their resume. How employable is she when he has done the same thing for 30+ years? And how can she make what she was making at her last employer?
Now, I know all of this sounds pretty depressing. When we talked, she was telling me how she cried through lunch with her daughter yesterday, because she does not know what to do.
Here is what we discussed, and I hope it can be motivating. I know many people are in the same situation and do not know where to begin.
Take every bit of skill and everything you have learned from your previous job(s). Are you a team player, did you do any training or coaching? Did you learn another position to take over when someone was out sick or on vacation? Think outside the box and think of skills that were developed that may not fall 100% in the job title. Did you have any leadership roles or responsibilities? There are reasons why you have had that job for 30 years.
Do you have any idea how many job skills you acquire as a parent? You are running a whole organization. You know inventory management, purchasing, time management, you have developed organization skills, leadership, and scheduling.
What community involvement have you had over the years that have taught you valuable skills that can transfer to the job marketplace? Did you volunteer anywhere? What did you do with the organization that taught you new and marketable skills? The organization, event planning, fundraising. How about your church or other affiliations?
I know this is a place that many never imagined they would be. Now is a time to not freeze in your fear. It is time to think outside the box and see what opportunities can open for you. Is there anything you ever dreamed of doing but did not have the time to investigate it before?
It seems to be human nature to argue for our limitations and not think about all the gifts we have acquired over the years that can open new doors for us now. When you can approach employers feeling confident in your years of acquiring skills, you already have something going for you. Take a personal inventory. Not all at once, but keep a list and jot down things that occur to you as they pop into your mind. You have accomplished a lot more over the years than you give yourself credit. You can take all of these and work them to your advantage.
Instead of thinking, “I have only done one thing my whole life,” expound on all that you have done. Now is a great time for a change. In some ways, we have all been forced into it. Instead of settling for the only thing, you think you can do, look at how you can create something new and amazing for yourself and your family. Let inspiration flow. If you are feeling overly worried and distraught you may miss the clues. I know this is a hard time. Even though, still try to find joy and satisfaction in everyday with what is going well or seems good. This will leave you more open to feeling the inspiration and impulses that can land you at the right place at the right time. Do not count limitations look for numerous opportunities.
Many of us say we want to be the best version of ourselves, but then we let the world or life get in the way, and we just do not do what we should to be that. We spend to much time caring about everyone and everything else and not how we can be at peace, at ease with ourselves. We seem to trudge through day after day, living unconscious, just letting life happen around and to us.
Being the best you is being authentic and caring enough about yourself not to let life throw you off track. People often think that to have a better life, they need to have something different, to do something, change or alter their way of doing things.
“I need to quit my job and become a motivational speaker, coach, master…”
To be the best of you, all you need is to be complete in who you are.
In my writing, speaking, and coaching, I take a spiritual approach because, in reality, we are more spiritual than physical. We have shut down listening and hearing the guidance of the larger part of who we are. Being your authentic self is easy if you allow it. Wearing the mask we show the world, trying to fit into the image of what we think others expect of us, is what is hard. There are so many “others” that it is defeating, frustrating, and we can never get it right.
We work hard to be, do or have to make others happy, which is impossible because they do not know either, and we are always changing in our effort to keep up with their changing expectations.
Instead of turning your focus outward, turn it inward instead. Your divine spirit, the larger part of who you are, knows you intimately. It knows your wants and desires. By taking the time to turn inward, you tap in and tune in to who you are—allowing yourself to be complete with your whole self. Let yourself be the best of yourself.
Spirit is unconditional love and infinite intelligence. It is wisdom and patience. It is kind and consistent. It is steady and unwavering. It is in this world but not of this world, not swayed by it. When you are familiar with who you are spiritually, you can easily present the best of yourself.
Masters throughout the ages have taught how to be who you are meant to be. One thing they all teach is you can do what they have done. You can live a life of ease and peace. We all have access to the same knowledge and wisdom. We are all extensions of God.
People go to seminar after seminar, church service after church service, watch YouTube videos until their batteries die, looking for one more or one last spark of wisdom to help them transcend. They want someone outside of themselves to lead them to the awareness they already hold inside. We seem to think that someone else holds the answers. Words do not teach, experience teaches, words just guide.
If you truly want to be the best you, then by developing a relationship and opening a channel of communication with your divine spirit will lead you where you wish to be. Your spirit knows your desire to lead, teach, and motivate others. As your connection grows stronger, you will find the opportunities show up for you. You have inspirations at the right time. No matter where you are, what job you have, where you live. The opportunity to shine your light will be there. You will have a life of being a guiding light for others instead of the practiced, trying to live up to the expectations of others.
Life still happens around you, yet when you are more who you are meant to be, it flows around you smoother. You have greater ease about things that happen around you. When you live connected to your divine spirit, opportunities and inspiration abound.
I am excited now in my life because a long-time desire to leave my day job and work full-time on my business is fully manifesting. I got a sample of what it will be like as I took a vacation week off. I will get one more in about two weeks. We must use them up before our law firm closes and by boss retires at the end of June.
Now, I will get to do more of where my passion resides. I will be completing my book, writing more articles for my website, and I will finally be able to work on the videos and podcasts. So, out comes the schedule to break days down to their most productive. Along with this, I will now have more hours to conveniently schedule my coaching clients and expand the Joy quest group to twice a week.
As you can tell, everything I do with and for people is in alignment with the Joy Quest. Even though the bulk of my thoughts and ideas are in my upcoming book, I share excerpts and my thoughts almost daily. It will be more regular after July 1. My videos and podcasts, I am planning to release twice a week. One day will be my sharing ideas, principles and practices on Joy Quest and the other. The second part of the week will be my speaking with other people that have ideas, questions, or relevant stories to share.
I do this because it is what I love to do—my coaching, whether individual or group, is how I make my living. Everything else, there is no charge. I do not write, make videos, and podcasts to try to hook people into signing up for something or buying my latest webinar or class. I am not one of the many internet people looking for passive income. (Let’s set up a course, you can sign up, and it runs itself, while I sit on a beach sipping a margarita, and make millions.) That is not me. You can sign up for the blog announcements, but that is for you, I do not receive a list of emails or anything like that. The only time I ask for contact information is if you are inquiring about coaching, or if you want to be a video or podcast guest. Then I need a way to contact you and discuss how we can work together.
I just share from the heart because that is what I love to do. I want to encourage and uplift people, and this is the greatest outlet I have right now.
If you would like to be a guest in my new endeavors, I would be thrilled to speak with you about it. Just go to the contact page and send me a note letting me know which format you like. Video or podcast, and what the topic of discussion might be. I am so glad that so many people enjoy what I share. I appreciate the nice comments and kind encouragement.
I wanted to share today about how, if you line up with your desires, they really can come true. I have been lining up with this new phase of my life for a while now. Pre-paving and growing in the excitement of what this can become.
I am looking forward to the interesting people I will meet and the new friendships formed.
Thank you, everyone, for joining me in this Joy Quest. A journey that never ends, you can never get wrong, and it just keeps getter better and better.
Love & Blessings,
Ashley J Spurgeon
Joy Quest is about finding more experiences of joy and satisfaction in your life. But let us be honest, we are human. To try to maintain those good feelings all the time is not realistic or even healthy. Some days you just feel like being grouchy, or you want a good cry, or you want to be angry at the injustices of the world. That is ok also. We have a full range of emotions, and they can all be cleansing, releasing, or give us a different perspective.
You can feel however you want, just do not get stuck there and do not inflict this on others. When faced with a day like this, I just let those around me know upfront how I am feeling, and I reassure them it has nothing to do with them, it is just how I am feeling. People usually want to help or fix it. There really is nothing to fix. You most likely are not looking for answers. I just say, ”I just want to feel this way for a little while.” Having these emotions does not necessarily mean something is wrong; they are just feelings.
Living a life of joy feels great. Situations, desires, and people flow in and out easier. Finding satisfaction feels good. But honestly, when my Dad died, though I could still find the joy I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to grieve and cry for a couple of days. Feelings are healthy. Expressing emotions, any emotion in a healthy way is good for you.
We all have events in our lives that leave us feeling less than perfect. Permit yourself to feel them. It is all part of the human experience. If you lost your job, it is ok to feel depressed and even worried. Just leave a window open for inspiration. If you lost a loved one, it is ok to be sad and grieve. Just leave a door cracked open for laughter.
Just do not allow yourself to get stuck. Everything is life is temporary, the relationships, the jobs, opportunities. Without change, we would never see something new. If you feel stuck, talk to a friend, a minister, a counselor. Connect with your divine spirit.
Feel your feelings. Even what we have labeled as negative can be satisfying. I know when I feel angry, I do an incredible job cleaning and organizing. When I was depressed, I would put on my headphones, favorite music, and mow the heck out of my one-acre yard. When I wanted to cry, I would watch a movie that I knew would make me sob, and I just kept the tissues handy.
When it was all said and done, everything felt so much better for not bottling it up and letting it fester. when it is out of your system, you can once again seek joy, satisfaction, and love of life. Permit yourself to feel. Find a healthy outlet and expression for your feelings. Who knows, you may write the next hit song, best selling novel or paint a masterpiece. Or if you are like me, you have a spotless house, a freshly mowed yard, or a new favorite movie.
Love & Blessings,
Ashley J Spurgeon
People have accused me from time to time of being too serious. That is just when I get in my thinking, contemplative mode. I like to think of myself as a light, fun person. It is sometimes easier to just let the weight and responsibilities of life rest on your shoulders. As a working professional, a partner, parent, friend, sibling, etc. it is easy to be so busy making sure that you have handled everything that you do not leave yourself the time just to let loose and have fun. It is also exhausting and takes the joy out of life.
Being constantly responsible, it can take some convincing to lay down the duties you see yourself as needing to accomplish, and for others to take care of matters for a while. But, if you are so busy all the time, that is just what passes you by, TIME. You lose the joy in living, and then what is the point of all of this. Life is meant to be fun, experienced, and enjoyed.
When was the last time you just stopped? At my last job, we were allowed two personal days a year. These were the days I decided to call in stupid. (That is what I called it). I was not sick, and everyone else in my life was busy doing what they do, work and school, I just wanted a ME day. One where I was not calling out of work because I felt too bad to get out of bed. That is what sick days are.
So, give yourself a day off. Do not make the bed! Do not rush to the store. Just take a day and decide you are not doing any of the usual or expected things today. Give it a try. You will see that your world will not implode or explode for that matter.
When was the last time you played in the rain, tried a hula-hoop, bought an ice cream cone and enjoyed it, played on a playground (without your kids), threw a frisbee, or watched a funny movie that you would love though your partner wouldn’t?
There is a lot of stress and worry in the world right now. There always is; one situation is followed by another, then another. If you are waiting for things to settle down before you take some personal time, you will be waiting for a long time. Life is meant to be fun. What are you waiting for, permission? What are you doing that is fun and maybe a little unexpected? Anything?
Take a day off and just let loose a little. Take a nothing day. Let everyone else take care of themselves for a little while and give yourself a break.
Also, do not watch the news and turn off your electronic devices. Just get out and play.
When you take a day to relax, you are giving yourself a chance to reset. Give yourself a new perspective. Stop taking life so seriously that you are cutting yourself off from enjoying what is all around you.
Love & Blessings,
Ashley J Spurgeon