The hardest part of making a change is leaving the known, familiar past behind and choosing a new future. When you keep rehearsing what has happened, you remain stuck in what has been. We make decisions based on what is familiar or what we think the expectations of people have about us; how we act, think, and behave.
If you want your present and future to be different, then you need to make a bold move to think, act, and behave differently. A wealthy person does not talk of lack, a healthy person does not focus on illness, and a satisfied, joyful person does not dwell on sadness.
It can be scary because you are stepping into the unknown. You need to initiate change, and your guide is your emotions. Your emotions will show you what your “normal” reactions are, how you have trained your self to think and feel- the victim, guilty, unhappy. As you start to see common threads, you can begin changing what you want to be.
I spent years in a terrifying and abusive relationship. I finally escaped and began rebuilding the life I wanted. I wanted peace, contentment, and no drama. Each day as old memories and feelings of unworthiness arose, the old feelings, I would seek out peaceful and content experiences, and over time by repeating these new behaviors and feelings, I saw a shift. I noticed, though, that each time I met a new friend, I told the same story of my broken past. It was how I described myself, yet it was not who I wanted to be. I was wearing my trauma as my identity. I finally realized that is something that happened TO ME; it was not who I am. It is not my identity.
That is not who I wanted people to identify me as either. Telling that story had become a habit I had to break. I needed to write a new story to get unstuck from the past and decide what I wanted my future to be.
Before creating a new future, I had to decide on my present. I created a practice that works so well; I have shared it with hundreds of people. Each time the understanding settles in, I see a new light in their eyes. It offers a moment of relief, and a chance to reset which direction the thoughts and emotions are heading.
I step into this exact moment. I am not thinking about anything more than right now. Seeing all that I can observe right now, that is good and alright. I do not think about five minutes ago, and I let go of anxiety based on an imagined five minutes from now. I focus only on this exact moment.
- Right now, I do not have to think about bills
- Right now, I have a place to live
- Right now, my family is healthy and happy.
- We have food in the fridge.
- There is gas in the car.
- I am comfortable.
- The sun is shining.
- The world is peaceful now.
- The birds are singing.
- Right now, I am at peace.
- Right at this moment, I do not need to worry about anything.
- At this moment everything is alright.
- Right now, I can slow down and just enjoy drinking my coffee.
- No one expects anything of me at this very moment.
I used this practice for years. I have been able to pull myself from fear, the pain of my past, worry, and anxiety about an unknown future. It allows me a chance to reset the direction of where I want to go and who I wish to be.
I call it living in the present moment. The practice can halt the momentum of fear and worry. It brings me closer to appreciation and gratitude. It helps reset my feeling of greater ease, hope, and faith in a brighter unseen future. It reminds me that I want my future to be joyful, clear-minded, and not living as a victim of my past.
Have a blessed day full of unexpected moments of joy and appreciation.
Love & Blessings,
Ashley J Spurgeon